Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Some things girls should know...

This post probably seems a little random. But Yancy and I were talking about President Packer's whole "Dating vs. Hanging Out" thing. We decided one reason guys are sometimes averted to traditional dating in the Mormon community is a series of small, misunderstandings between the sexes. By all means, I welcome a "Some Things Guys Should Know" response and I assure you I will be grateful for any insider secrets on the mysterious creatures we call "girls". The list is the collective thoughts of a handful of us men.

1. A date doesn't mean we want to marry you. Chill out and have fun. This is just a chance to get to know you. We might not like you once we do, so enjoy the attention whilst it lasts. The bottom line is, just relax and enjoy yourself. It's really not a big deal, so don't freak.

2. It's hard for many of us to ask girls out, especially when we find them attractive. It takes major confidence to pull it off, so cut us a little slack. I'm not saying, "Say yes" if you really don't want to go. But I am saying that if you'd like to but can't go (i.e. have a conflict in schedule) make sure you actually say you'd like to another time. If we don't hear that, we'll probably never ask you again. Our confidence can be pretty fragile.

3. Never give a guy the "Deer in the Headlights" look when he's asking you out. Even if it takes you off guard, have the decency to smile till his invitation is out. It makes us a little more comfortable in what can be a very uncomfortable situation. If a guy ever abandons ship in the middle of asking you out, you might want to think of how you were facially responding to his attempt. You might have scared him out of it.

3 comments:

Yancy said...

seriously...guys and girls should talk about these kinds of things more often. It would save us all some grief. Wouldn't you agree?

Mooney said...

Indeed, I would.

Unknown said...

a female reply, because contrary to popular belief (ahem, jared) i am NOT a dude:

1. agreeing to go on a date--and being excited about it--does not mean we think you are in love with us and want to father our children. it just means we are looking forward to doing something fun that weekend and hope to get to know a cool guy a little better. give us some credit: not all of us start picking out bath towels and china patterns the second a boy shows the slightest interest.

2. hard as it may be to do so, keep asking! if you get shot down by one girl, know that there are dozens of others who would love to spend an evening with you. our confidence is fragile too, and not being asked out only intensifies that. oh, and it's ok to ask out a girl that you aren't madly in crush with. seems that boys occasionally get so focused on asking the uber-pretty girls out that they overlook some pretty awesome ones, with whom they might actually have more fun.

3. it's difficult to not have much control over your dating life. if a girl is anything like myself, she thinks that (most of the time) boys should do the asking. so when a certain boy never asks, and another boy does (and catches you completely off guard by doing so), it's hard not to feel a little disappointment. there's only so much a girl can do, short of saying "hey, i think you're cute, you should ask me out." that said, i am willing to go on at least one date with anyone who does not immediately strike me as creepy.

hope that's helpful. rebuttals are welcome. please don't hate me.

this is officially the longest comment ever.