Friday, October 13, 2006

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.

I just found this note in an old notebook... it was written several months ago in the middle of what Jen can attest was a pretty nasty period in my life.

"Here’s the problem in a nutshell.

Crying is bad enough, but crying by your self is downright terrible. What is my problem? I don’t even have somebody I can be honest with. I think I have all these friends and then I have to cry and there’s nobody I can trust with that who won’t think I’m seriously chucked (Maybe I am and that’s the problem). How awful is that? I guess some people want to cry alone, but I can’t understand that. Crying (by which I really mean crying in self-pity) is so detestable to me that I can’t stand doing it alone. In earlier years I had it all going for me. I never used to cry much and I used to have friends I could have cried to, should the need arise. Now I cry a shameful amount and have no such friends. That absolutely sucks."

It just occured to me how happy I am that I no longer feel that way. So my friends, thank you for being good to me. I love you.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

I am happy that you are happy :)

Yancy said...

i love you.

Unknown said...

nasty doesn't even begin to describe...

there was altogether too much crying going on then. i'm sorry you felt you had to do it alone.

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