Please tell me somone else is as retarded as me...

I flushed my glasses. Not "lost" my glasses, or "sat on" my glasses...flushed them. As in, down the toilet. For those who know about my glasses slipping off at very inconvenient times (i.e. in the paint whilst painting my room, or in the turtle pond in central park) this was a likely inevitability. Still I didn't see it coming.

I flushed the toilet, they slipped off while I was "putting things away" and fell in the bowl. I instinctively reached my hand into my own pee and up the hole to grossville, but I was too late. And now my hand was all soaked in urine and microscopic traces of fecal matter. I got in the shower and scrubbed my arm for like a half an hour and threw away my scrub-puff. Then I put my contacts in. I still need to try a plunger, but I'm pretty sure my glasses are in our septic tank. Shit! Pun intended.